Lisa n Tom (n James n Joseph)

I used to Twitter. Then I realized Twitter is the 2008 version of the Pet Rock. No more Twitter. Here are some of my old tweets... Made granola last night. Then we tie-dyed some t-shirts and made our own Birkenstocks out of recycled tires. I've reach my maximum daily allowance of people threatening to contact the authorities about my employer today. Dear Mosquitoes, I hate you. Please die. Love, your friend Lisa Plain, unflavored yogurt does not make a lovely snack.

Lisa observes scary noises in her house!

Tom writes: Yes folks, it happened right here. This year Lisa and I carefully put all the correct ingredients into our backyard garden (organic, mind you) and selected the perfect tomatoes to grow there. We had some limited luck last year, but you would not have been able to guess that this year. The tomato plants grew a little bit each day through the summer, but nary a blossom showed up on them. After braving mosquitoes to water them and showering them with kind thoughts, we were devastated. As summer turned to fall and the leaves started to fall, we had given up on the little guys, figuring that they just did not have enough sunlight to flourish. It was sad, very sad. But then an amazing thing happened! Lisa and I were just finishing up clearing out the worst of the leaves in our backyard when Lisa exclaimed, "Look!" And much to our wonder, there before our eyes was a cherry tomato, red and ready to eat. It was very yummy. And all the time, energy, emotion, and...

Lisa's sister, Christi, writes: Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you all are sufficiently stuffed and happy. Tim's parents did a good job of spoiling us. We burned off a few calories today on our annual Christmas tree hunt. We bagged a big one (well as big as our ceiling will allow). [Lisa adds: In addition to the big tree, the kid each got a little tree top to put in their rooms, and please take note of the eight-year-old with the chainsaw. Good grief.]

Lisa writes: We live in a subdivision called Kings Park. There is a park in Kings Park. The park in Kings Park is called Kings Park Park . That is all.

Lisa writes: Debbie and Kellen went snowboarding over Thanksgiving. It's as if three years just flew by since the last time they did this. Hey Kellen, you might want to review some of Tom's demonstration footage before trying this again. (Fast forward to the 2:00 mark.) Or maybe not .

Lisa's mom writes: Kellen and Deb left Provo at 5 a.m. to be with us for Thanksgiving. They took the train. It went very well. Deb and Kellen arrived at 1 p.m. in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. They even fed them two meals. You don't get that anymore on the airlines. We stopped at Beaver Creek on the way back to Vail for the World's Greatest Chocolate Chip Contest and other fun. Roy and I are circled with love being with our Deb and Kellen. We give thanks and miss you all. Have a wonderful day. Love, Mom

Lisa writes: Disasters make better stories than non-disasters. There were no disasters today. The turkey came out great. The potatoes and green beans and cranberry sauce and gravy and stuffing came out great. I recommend this stuffing recipe , by the way.) The pies were great. We made an Advent wreath and played a round of Trivial Pursuit. My team lost. I took a nap. All was swell, and tomorrow we diet.

Lisa writes: I bought the turkey two weeks ago. Just happened to be at the store. Saw the turkeys. Thought, "Oh, hey, I'll be needing a turkey soon." Bought one. Eighteen pounds. Brought it home. Put it in the refrigerator. Tom said, "Isn't it a little soon to buy the turkey?" I said, "Nah, this thing will take a week to thaw." A week passes. The turkey is thawed. It's been thawed. I have 18 pounds of raw turkey sitting in my refrigerator. I go online to see how long it will be happy in there. Answer: Not long. Visions of salmonella poisoning Tom's entire family. I roast the turkey. We invite some friends over for an impromptu Sunday dinner. I send them home with leftovers. Monday, I buy another turkey. Only ten pounds this time.

Lisa writes: The homemade laundry detergent has been working so well, I got cocky and tried homemade dishwasher detergent. Easiest recipe in the world: Mix one cup baking soda and one cup Borox. Put it in a plastic container and use 2 tablespoons in each load. Fill the rinse agent container on your dishwasher with white vinegar. Tried it. Twice. Silverware isn't coming clean and there is white scum on all the glass and especially on all the plastic. Verdict? Displeased.

Lisa writes: Röyksopp " What Else Is There? " Haunting Norwegian electronica and I wish I were brave enough to go through life without eye make-up and still look this good. Dirty Projectors " Stillness Is the Move " The video is sort of embarrassing (the choreography! the weird halter-top dresses!) but slightly awesome (jodhpurs! when the llama pops his head up at 1:06!) but the song is so catchy. The Roots " Lovely, Love My Family " On Yo, Gabba Gabba! The tuba guy is my favorite. It's not often the tubas get to rock out.

Lisa writes: Am I middle-aged yet? I'm looking at the U.S. Census Bureau's 2009 Statistical Abstract . For a white woman born in 1970 (like me), the expectation of life expectancy is 75.6 years. For a white man born in 1970 (like Tom), the life expectancy is 68.0 years. Now, hopefully our non-smoking, non-drinking, light-on-the-McDonald's lifestyles means we'll do a little better than average, but if "middle" means "half-way" then didn't I hit middle age last year? And shouldn't Tom be driving a Corvette by now?* *I'm kidding. He'd never drive a Corvette. He wants a Jag.

Lisa writes: We go around the circle and ask the kids to share one thing that's happened since we last met. One boy pipes up, "My dog has giardia!"

Lisa writes: Part of me is cringe-y about writing this, but the other part of me is smuggy about it. See that toothbrush sitting on the sink in the previous entry? The $138 Philips Sonicare ? Bought it on eBay. Sure did.

Lisa writes: Goodbye, decorative trim in the pattern of eight repeating lighthouses. Goodbye, little seafoam green anchor vinyl wallpaper. Goodbye, sliding shower doors with 45 years of encrusted, irremovable soap scum. Goodbye, green sink, and you too, green toilet. It's been a good run. Don't forget to write.

Lisa writes: My brother-in-law just got a new job working as a railroad line crew chief. Isn't that the coolest "Thomas the Tank Engine" meets "Atlas Shrugged" job you can think of? I knew there were some other relatives who had worked on the railroad and quizzed my dad. He said: "My dad worked on the railroad. He was a plumber. He fixed leaky water towers. Got in some big fights when he first got in. There were some real slobs working there. He cleaned up their area while they were all on their shift, and they came back and were belligerent that this little guy had cleaned up all their stuff; moved all their stuff around. He was short, a boxer-type of guy. One guy reached for a poker to hit him, a fire poker. Dad saw him reach for it. The guy was leaning back in his chair and Dad kicked him over and jumped on him. Knocked him out of the car and rolled him down the hill. They liked him after that, after he beat 'em all up. ... It was a strange life he l...

Lisa writes: Yay! It's Fall! Which means I can go back to wearing black tights with EVERYTHING like I do EVERY YEAR. Hurray! And I can bring out the wool skirts and sweaters, and the high boots, gloves, my cute wool coat, hats, and everything I own with long sleeves! Tom writes: Yay! It's Fall! Which means ... I'm just going to keep wearing what I usually wear. Maybe put on a scarf....

Lisa writes: My little brother Donny got a new remote controlled airplane. He is very excited about it. So excited, he sent pictures. You know what doesn't photograph particularly well? The excitement of flying a remoted-controlled airplane. (We tease because we love, Don Don.)

Lisa writes: Until I went to my 20th high school reunion two summers ago, I honestly hadn't given more than a few minutes thought to anybody from high school in years. (Except you, Kris, and Jenny, and James, and Amy, and Karen. I think about you every day.) I'm not good with names. It takes me a long time to learn them and then I quickly forget them. But occasionally somebody sticks. There was this girl, Cosima Swintak, who was in 11th grade when I moved to Tennessee in 10th. I was in a couple of classes with her and thought she was just the coolest thing. She was one of the smartest people in the school, for one thing, AND she was pretty, AND she was poised. She won all kinds of scholarships and academic awards. At the end-of-the-year honors celebration, they just kept calling her up to the stage for award after award: "Cosima Swintak!" "Cosima Swintak!" "Cosima Swintak!" She was as modest and elegant as an 11th-grader can be. The Jackie O of Cla...

Lisa writes: On the right side of the blog, under the list of old posts, I added a list of things I've made, am inspired to make, or can recommend making. I like the quote Martha Stewart gave in an interview with Wired Magazine : "You own it if you made it." Click on the links and you can make them too!

Lisa writes: Halloween 2009. Here we are reprising our costumes from 1998. (Costume debut here .) The tuxedo was Tom's concert band uniform from college in 1988. It still fits. After getting dolled up, we went to Tom's bro-in-law's birthday party. Mark is married to Tom's sister, Betsy. They met after Betsy responded to Mark's want ad in the paper. (Kids, imagine Match.com, but on paper.) They are the parents of 15 year old Julia. From the birthday party, we went to Tom's Tai Chi school's Halloween party. The school constructed this crazily-elaborate haunted house (which we waited to go through until after all the ghouls and zombies left to get snacks). This is witch Cynthia (another student), "Boris Badeno from Rocky and Bullwinkle" Coach Pei, and "Lurch" Tom. Coach was bummed because nobody figured out his costume. They all thought he was trying to be Neo from The Matrix. Cynthia and I had the same wig. It's like we're identica...