Lisa n Tom (n James n Joseph)

Tom writes: Returning home to Virginia after visiting Lisa in Colorado (before we got married) I sat next to a woman who was going to DC for a conference of sorts. From what I could glean looking over her shoulder at her reading materials, she was rather critical of the current administration. I imagined that she was kind of down on America, too. So her reaction surprised me when we flew in over the Potomac River, where you could look down and see the Washington Monument, the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, the Mall, the White House, and the Capitol. She became as excited as a six year old at Christmas. It spoke volumes of the power of the symbols in our nation's capital. But growing up here, I don't think they had the same effect on me. Today, however, I had a different experience. A relative offered my mom, brother, Lisa, and me tickets for an open house at the White House this afternoon. And you can be sure we went. The place was decorated for Christmas and it was...

Lisa writes: You know what else is awesome? Extension cords. Big, orange, heavy-duty extension cords. Nobody can ever have enough of those things. They're handy like Jack. You can solve almost any household problem with an extension cord and maybe some duct tape. They will probably turn out to be the key to world peace and global warming. Stumped for a Christmas present for that hard-to-shop for friend or relative? Extension cords. You're welcome.

Lisa writes: Tom is perfect, except for... .. when he chops tomatoes, he doesn't trim off the woody little belly-button bit where the stem was attached. He chops up the tomato so that that part is divided up into maybe fourths. I have pointed out the error of his ways. He counters by pointing out that the pico de gallo in fine restaurants such as Baja Fresh will often have little bits of tomato belly-button. I give him the look. .. he doesn't dry properly. I am not the only person to point this out. In spite of the fact that Tom is flexible enough to reach every inch of his back, he cannot or will not ever dry a three-inch swath all the way down his spine. The reason you notice this is because his shirt is always plastered to the wet spot. His college roommates pointed this out regularly. It didn't help then either. Tom writes: Lisa, you are welcome. I know that you enjoy drying my back. And behind my ears. I like to leave those areas wet as a service to you, so that you...

Lisa writes: You know what's cool? What's cool is when you run into somebody you haven't seen in a long time and they say, "Remember XYZ? I always think of you when I see/hear/do that." Isn't that cool? People think of you, even when you're not there, sometimes years and years later. You are remembered much more often, and probably much more fondly, than you suspect. It only makes sense. My memories are inextricably attached to the people who created or shared them with me. So are yours. Here are a couple of my connections. What are yours? Dar Williams is Stacy and Jenny. Joan Baez is Heidi, and Heidi's mom. David Bowie is Ruth. Lone Justice is Emily and Jamie. Johnny Clegg is Elizabeth. Billie Holiday is Cheryl. Hawaii (and anchovy-stuffed olives) is Jenny. Tomatoes are Kristin. Straight leg jeans are Janine. Ruby Tuesday (ah, such fine cuisine) is Kris. Missouri is the Emanuels. Opera is Catherine and Brooke. Driving to Las Vegas is Jen. Dansko shoes...

Lisa writes: I'm sick. I picked up a cold from a doorknob or grocery cart somewhere along the germ-laden circles I travel and brought it home. I keep trying to give it to Tom, but he is proving surprisingly resistant. I'll try to give it to one of you instead. You'll know you have it when your eyes and nose start watering for no reason, and then you drown to death in your sleep. On the fifth day, you wake up with a weird voice. I included that last bit just to give you something to look forward to.

Lisa writes: And once again , the church Christmas party is over! Hallelujah! Best Things About the Party: We only had two planning meetings, no rehearsals, and only spent 2 1/2 hours setting up the gym. We spent basically no money. In addition to being short on time, this year our committee was also short on cash. The news predicted winter storms and ice and snow and atomic fireballs from the sky, but in fact NOTHING happened. People showed up late, but in costume. We collected a mountain of canned goods for the food bank. It was scheduled from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., but ended at 7:30 p.m. and we were done cleaning before 9. We had food, and enough to spare. We don't have to do anything like this again for a year! Merry Christmas!

Lisa writes: Lori sent some pictures from Benjamin's first birthday party last month.

Lisa writes: Christi emailed pictures from nephew Christian's sixth birthday. " Christian's got skills...we'd rather not talk about...he'd make his uncle Tom proud." "We went ice skating for his birthday...bet you didn't know Santa runs the Zamboni in his spare time."

Lisa writes: On Saturday we met with my old coworker and friend, Dave, and his family at the Washington, D.C. Mormon Temple to see the lights and attend one of the musical performances. Tom and I misjudged traffic, the distance, and Newtonian physics in general and were too late to catch the show (and those Sister missionaries are quite serious about not letting late-comers past the velvet ropes leading into the theater, let me tell you) so we just waited in the Visitors Center and caught Dave and the gang on the way out. Two big touring buses discharged full loads of visitors speaking a dozen languages as we watched. The Visitors Center has come a long way since the days, ten years ago, when I invited Tom up to the Temple with me on a date to see an arhythmic handbell choir in the lobby.

Lisa writes: ... Snow! Not a lot of snow, but definitely snow. I had to get to work early today and Tom was still in bed when I left. There wasn't even enough snow to make a snowball to stuff down the back of his pajamas.

Lisa writes: What do the guy on the left and the guy on the right have in common? Answer: They both tore their ACLs. They're both in "soft casts" and doing physical therapy exercises at home. Doggy to the left is my neighbor's terrier. Puppy-dog eyes on the right is mine.

Lisa writes: Today is the first Sunday in Advent. This is one of those tricky holidays that doesn't always land on the same day of the calendar. In Western Christianity, Advent begins on the fourth Sunday prior to Christmas Day, or the Sunday which falls closest to November 30, and lasts through Christmas Eve, or December 24. (Thanks, About.com !) Employing the Catholic Saturday-evening-Mass-counts-for-Sunday loophole, we went to Mass in Morristown, New Jersey last night. I was surprised to see them lighting the pink and purple Advent candles and it took me a minute to figure out why they were doing it. There was a long time, as a kid, when I would count down the days to Christmas like a NASA shuttle launch ... starting sometime in April. But, like every year of the last ten years or so, Christmas has sneaked up on me again.

Lisa writes: Here in suburbia, we take our lawns seriously. In the Fall, there are only types of neighbors: leafed and deleafed. Umm, that's us on the left.

Dad, Mom, and "the girls" aka Breanna, Madison, and Taylor (with a cameo by Tim) Don Don and Brooke Christi Us

(Click on any picture to see it larger) Tom, carefully working his way up or down the stairs from our loft bedroom Dad, wondering when dinner will be ready The kids, accustomed to a gas fireplace, asked repeatedly, "Grandpa, how do you turn the fire off?" Mom and Dad returned from Guatemala bearing gifts: alpaca wool caps and dolls (Christian didn't quite stay awake for this part) A trip into Vail Village with Tom and Madison This looks promising

Lisa writes: We made it up the mountain okay, but only one of us came back down standing on our skis. Tom took a wrong turn about 200 feet from the top, felt his knee pop, and spend the rest of the day relying on the kindness of the Ski Patrol. Christian thought Tom's crutches were pretty cool.

Tom writes: This is the kind of thing that bosses don't like to hear about. Sound interesting? For the past years I have nurtured a dream of studying acupunture and setting up shop somewhere. Despite its image, acupuncture can be more than just needles - it can help people address how their mind, body, and spirit are interconnected. And there is something about watching people become engaged with the question about who they are that fascinates me. But there are a couple of nagging questions, like how would I pay for going to school? Or more importantly, is this something I am passionate enough about to dedicate that much time and energy? I like my job right now; it has a reasonable degree of security and room for growth, but this dream keeps pulling at me. So what do I do with it? My guess is that I am not the only person who has asked these kinds of questions. What have the rest of you done?

Lisa writes: Three times we've left little potted plants out on the deck, and three times we've come home to find the pots shattered. We thought maybe there were strong gusts of wind blowing the pots to the ground. But last week, after a completely still day, I came home to find this. And I know who's doing it. Behold: Evil Squirrel. (Click to see it bigger. Look hard right at the corner of the rail. He's hard to photograph. Like vampires. That's one way you know he's evil.) Now it's us vs. him. Bring it on, Squirrel.

Lisa writes: Benjamin's one-year-old birthday pie, before. Benjamin's one-year-old birthday pie, after.

Lisa writes: Here's nine minutes of joy right here, folks!

Lisa writes: Now that we've solidly established ourselves in the ranks of the married , we're starting to make little inroads into the ranks of the with children . We attended the 3 year old birthday part of a friend's little [genius] boy. That's him in the white shirt. When we last visited, nearly a year ago, he was singing the alphabet, counting to 100, and programming the Tivo. The trick at these parties is to find a job -- something to do so you don't have to make conversation the whole time. Tom snagged the good job right away. He spent a solid hour on the floor inflating and reinflating balloons for the kids to release and sail across the room. It was like a room-full of flying Whoopie Cushions. I picked up the secondary job of making balloon animals. As the majority of these kids were boys, and as I didn't think my one boy-friendly balloon creation (swords) would make for friendly inter-kid relations, I had to improvise. Kids are very sophisticated these ...

Lisa writes: My parents just got back from a trip to Peru and the Amazon. The pictures to the right are of a floating reed island in Lake Titicaca. The islands are built and inhabited by the Aymara Uros people. They build them by cutting and laying reeds. Each island lasts about 30 years, then they start to leak and sink. Then it's time to build a new island. There is also an 8-minute highlight reel of the trip which features the world's largest rodent, a brief lecture on seasonal water tables, and a spectacular air gun shot by Mom. Mom went native with the pink pom-poms. Click on any picture to see it much larger.

Lisa writes: Hello, all of Tom's Tai Chi friends that we meet at dinner last night! You're here wondering where that video of the Chinese culture festival is, aren't you? It's back down in October a ways and to get there faster you can click here . Also, here's the story I was telling you last night, in my friend Jenny's original words: "Kim and Red MADE me go to a kabuki play. I did not want to, and offered to wait at a lovely bistro. They lured me by saying the play featured a monkey. DO NOT FALL FOR THE KABUKI MONKEY TRICK! The monkey only came into the play in the last, painful minutes. "If anyone tries to get you to go to kabuki at all, they are not your friends. "Full grown men screeching at the top of their lungs and prancing around in elaborate costumes is NOT entertainment. (I'll get off kabuki now.) "

Lisa writes: Mom requested a photo of the 11-foot black trashbag spider on our roof. Believe me, it's much more menacing in person. Especially since the legs keep rolling off the roof and hitting people.

Lisa writes: Halloween has come and gone and I DID NOT EAT A SINGLE PIECE OF CANDY. It was cute to see all the little kids out. We like this neighborhood. To the right is this year's pumpkin creation. It has a nice fangy quality, but it can't top last year's pumpkins for saintliness or cheekiness . P.S. Today was the 10th anniversary of our first date, and nine years since we did this .

Lisa writes: E-mail from my Dad: "[Donny's old Scout leader] Lou got up in Sunday School today and told about Donny when they were biking the Continental Divide while he was a Venture Scout. "They came to a river and Donny was elected to see if they could cross it at that point. So Donny took off on his bike across the river. On the shore they could see him sinking lower and lower into the water. Finally, all they could see was his helmet sticking up out of the water. Pretty soon the helmet started moving sideway down stream. It eventually stopped and the helmet started to come back out of the water, then his head, then his shoulders, etc. When he rode up on the other side, he yelled back, "Yeah, it's no problem. Come on across." So the group packed up, moved to another spot and crossed in shallower water. "But Lou says that he'll never forget seeing just the top of that helmet sticking out of the water as Donny floated away down stream."

Lisa writes: The sign worked! There was nobody parked in the entrance way at Mass today and traffic was moving as smooth as butter.

Lisa writes: Every Sunday, the noon Mass attendees are trying to get into the parking lot just as the 10:30 Mass attendees are trying to get out. It's a full house every showing, so the entrance/exit would be a bottleneck no matter what, but for the past three weeks a couple of ding-dongs have been parking on the yellow curb, effectively turning the two-way entrance into a single lane. Cars trying to get in back up all the way down the street. Now, this doesn't technically affect Tom and me since we walk to church, but we pass the chaos every Sunday and it bugs us. Everybody just got out of church and they're already mad. They're sinning in their hearts and saying bad words! Why are these people parking on the yellow curb? Don't they know what problems they're causing? Why doesn't somebody do something? Should we write a letter to the pastor? Maybe tell the Knights of Columbus? Or, I could stop at Hobby Lobby and pick up the materials to do this. I'll l...

Lisa writes: I tried on 29 pairs of pants yesterday. Girls will understand this. Guys will not. Guys can buy pants without even trying them on. "36x34? Okey dokey, I'll take them!" This does not work for women. I wish it did. The manufacturers of women's clothes assign random numbers (In the words of Dave Barry: "My wife wants to be an 8. I keep asking her, 'Eight what?'") and aren't even consistent about what the numbers mean. Socks have different sizing than shoes. Panties are different from pants. And one size 10 may fit totally differently than another size 10. But that's not the point here. The point is that I spent two hours trying on 29 pairs of pants, and just as I got up to the cash register, the store went dark. The power went out in the whole block. So I left my cart full of pants and came home, but not before calling Tom to tell him that God just saved him $300.

Lisa writes: For my bro-in-law Tim's birthday, Christi and Co. did a bike ride through Zion's National Park in Southern Utah. Christi wrote: "'Are we there yet?' We did an 8 mile ride. Madison & Taylor had a couple impressive wipe outs on the way down. They were seeing how fast they could go...they made it to 30 mph...now they know."

Lisa writes: Because every trip to Home Depot is followed by ... ... another trip to Home Depot! 1st trip to Home Depot: Buy the ceiling fan. 2rd-5th trips to Home Depot: Not sure I like this ceiling fan. Go back to look at other ceiling fans. Finally decide this one is okay. 6th trip to Home Depot: Buy the cross-bar to install the ceiling fan and remote control for ceiling fan. 7th trip to Home Depot: Buy extra long metal screws to install ceiling fan, because the ones that came with the kit weren't long enough. Forget to pick up 12 volt battery for remote. 8th trip to Home Depot: Buy battery. See bathroom ventilation fans. Stare at them for a long time thinking about how cool it would be to install a ventilation fan in the bathroom... To be continued ... of course.

Lisa writes: Or, "Weirdnesses: Continued." Lisa is strongly of the opinion that sodium lauryl sulfate causes, or antagonizes, canker sores. (You never want to antagonize a canker sore. They're cranky.) It does not, as is often hysterically reported, cause cancer , and is just fine in shampoo and dish detergent, etc. It's just a foaming agent. It makes bubbles and breaks up oils. This is great in your hair and on your dishes, but it's a problem in your mouth. Ever touched a fish? You know how they have that thin slime layer on their scales? And if you touch them with a dry finger, they'll get a sore there because you broke the slime layer? The mucus membrane in your mouth has the same thing, and if you are genetically predisposed to canker sores, using SLS breaks up the protective slime layer (maybe I should find a better word for it?) and lets those bad germs get in. Which is why I am a fan of: - Rembrant Sensitive or Rembrant Canker Sore toothpaste - Sensod...

Lisa writes: Lori and Benjamin visted our house over the weekend and, true to the way I was raised, I got it all on tape. You can see waddler nephew Benjamin in all of his big-eyed glory here and here and in a few more places soon to be posted. The cutest thing, to me, was how Baby B took a shine to Tom. When Tom came back after being gone for maybe half an hour, Benjamin was THRILLED to see him, squealed in delight, and came staggering over to hug him around the legs. Tom says, "The feeling was mutual."

Tom writes: One of the joys of studying tai chi at my particular school is getting "volunteered" to perform in different demonstrations and shows. This usually entails many hours of preparation and then many hours of waiting on performance day for several short minutes of the show. Yet it is kind of fun, in a twisted sort of way. This presentation (on Sept 30) was at a Chinese cultural festival at the Lisner Auditorium at George Washington University. They say that Willie Nelson appeared there two weeks before we did. And if he makes a living hanging out in backstage areas like where we were, I take my hat off to him - the nicest thing you could say about the backstage area and dressing rooms is that it is functional. And without further ado, here is the show. Look for me. I am the one in white pajamas. The little dot in the second row back to the far right of the screen...

Lisa writes: I pass the Mustafa Center every morning on the way to work. It is a miniature Muslim worship center (mosque? church? shrine? temple?) about the size of a Pizza Hut, but with beautiful little white, curling columns and turrets and a robins-egg-blue blue tiled dome. It's right next door to a Starbucks. Today, the traffic was slow because a service was letting out at 8:30 a.m. A big worship service had just finished, and men in long shirts and vests and baggy pants, and women with scarves loosely wrapped around their heads were all coming out, many of them having to cross the street to get to where their cars were parked. I googled the occasion when I got to work: "Tomorrow is Eid-Ul Fitr. Also known as Seker Bayram or Ramazan Bayram, it marks the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. It is a day of thanksgiving." This is the last day of the fast -- tomorrow, all of the Muslims you know will be fat and happy and much less irritiable by lunchtime.

Lisa writes: I spent about three hours last Saturday blowing and sucking up leaves with our nifty new leaf blower/sucker contraption. I sucked up 40 pounds of leaves and little sticks off the lawn. No exaggeration -- I weighed the bag. The sucker-option crunches up the leaves, but they don't disappear. What do you do with 40 pounds of crunched up leaves? Inspiration struck at the Dollar Store in the form of this: An 11-foot wide black plastic trash bag spider, stuffed with leaves (or old newspapers, for the leafless). I'm thinking this will be most effective on Halloween perched on the roof the carport, where little kiddos will have to pass under it to get to the front door. On second thought, kids are pretty jaded and sophisticated these days. They probably won't be scared by the sight of a giant plastic trash bag spider. To get a reaction, we might have to drop it on them.

Lisa writes: Talked to Lori on the phone and she said that Benjamin is officially a toddler. She said, "He can walk across the room, turn around, and come back when he wants to. He's not a baby anymore -- he's a toddler. Although, he does waddle like a penguin." Five-year old Ava only caught the last bit of that remark and later announced to her friend, "My baby brother is a 'waddler.'" Here's what's next: